3.00 AM - 10th January 2014 - Friday - Petaling Jaya - Now playing ~ If You're not The One
A gloomy night. Sitting alone on my bed and someone crossed my mind. Who?
Hmm. The one who always be there when I need support. You mean a lot to me. You make me smile, laugh and cry. To be honest, it is hard for me to make new friends (well, aku bukannya suka cakap kecuali dengan orang yang rapat dengan aku) <--- yeah exactly, sbb tu ramai yang cakap aku ni sombong. Hmm. But you made it. Dia tak penah putus asa nak cuba cakap dengan aku hmm (and there's one time i got annoyed cos he called me at 4am). But he proved to me, he is the best person and friend in my life. Aku terlampau memuji? Hmm kalau orang yang betul-betul kenal aku, diorang tahu yang aku ni payah nak puji orang. Aku hanya akan puji kalau aku betul-betul ikhlas nak puji.
He is a good guy. Siapa je yang sanggup layan kerenah aku? Siapa yang dengar je cerita tak matang/mengarut aku? Siapa yang sanggup tahan bila aku marah? Siapa yang pujuk aku supaya tenang bila aku nangis? Siapa yang bagi semangat masa aku rasa aku hilang keyakinan? Siapa je yang sanggup nak bagi kata-kata semangat macam cheerleeder tu? SIAPA? Tell me! Hmm no one, except him. Aku ada ramai kawan, yeah ramai sangat. Tapi tak semua yang sabar dengan aku masa aku ada masalah. Sbb tu kadang-kadang aku diam. Aku diam sebab nak tengok diorang effect tak kalau aku tak banyak cakap, tak ceria macam selalu.
(To him, walaupun aku tahu dia takkan baca blog ni pun)
I'm really sorry. Aida tak tahu sama ada Iz masih marah atau tak. Tapi kenapa Iz diam? Iz tak nak cakap dengan aida dah? Kalau Iz terus diam macam ni, lepas ni aida dah tak ada sesiapa nak dengar cerita aida, yang nak buat lawak, yang nak usik aida. Aida minta maaf sangat kalau Iz masih terkesan dengan attitude aida haritu. Iz je yang aida ada. I have no one else. Ye aida mengaku rasa sayang ni masih ada, but i've tried my best. Cos i love you means that i accept you for the person you are and that i do not wish to change you into someone else. It means that I will love you and stand by you even at the worst time. It means loving you when you are down not just when you are fun to be with. I love you means that i know your deepest secrets and do not judge you for them. It means that I care enough not to let go. It means I'll be okay when you are with her and loving you means standing by you even you are ripping my heart piece by piece. I'm really sorry. I just don't want to lose you. Please don't leave me cos i really need you. Walaupun kadang-kadang rasa sedih, cemburu bila tengok Iz dengan orang lain. But I can't do anything cos you love her not me anymore. Hmm. I miss you and I need you. I'm sorry for everything.
Hmm. I told my mom and dad about him and they said they wanna ask him or maybe his family to come to my house for a dinner. But how ayah mama? Dia x cakap. Dia masih marah :( Aku tak tahu nak pujuk orang. Aku hanya boleh cakap apa yang lahir dari hati. I don't know what should I do to make him forgive me. It was my fault. I was too stress smpai memudaratkan kesihatan diri.
Okay nak tidur. I'm still thinking hari ahad ni nak keluar jalan-jalan dengan siapa. Bosan dekat rumah.
So, who is that person who means a lot to me? Someone that I love who I call him as my best friend in my life. I'm sorry.
Please, talk to me :(
| The End |
"Every end is a new beginning"
Hugs and kisses,
- Bunga -
